I was really proud of myself at this moment

Joseph and I have long struggled with creating a veggie burger from scratch that neither crumbles at the slightest touch, nor oozes out the back of the bun when bitten into. I don't really like buying them, because they cost so much, they can't really be seasoned, and they're really not all that appetizing when it's clear that they were cut out of a sheet of processed vegetable matter.

But we did it. We triumphed! After all the recipes that we have tried, promising great taste and texture but turning instead to mush or cardboard, we finally did it.

All because of me, of course (haha, yeah, right).

It wasn't even all that hard. We didn't use a recipe; Joseph would add things, and then I would.


The final process:

1. Mince one small onion; sauté it in a little bit of olice oil. Wait until they are clear and just beginning to caramelize.
2. Add two portobello mushrooms, chopped (the kind that you can get in packs of two at the grocery store, about the size of your hand). Cook until softened, and add a bit of white cooking wine; reduce.
3. Add a can of black beans, including broth. Reduce until sauce is thick and sticky, where it doesn't drip off the spoon easily.
4. Transfer to another bowl, and mash everything up until it's the consistency you like (all of our black beans were about halfway cut up).
5. Add two eggs and mix. It should be fairly liquid.
6. Add oatmeal until the mixture is thick and formable. I think we added between a cup and a cup and a half.
7. Spice the mixture to your liking. We used salt and garlic powder, which was plain but tasted really good.

I think this is the key step:
8. Grease a patty mold, and press the mixture into the mold and drop into a preheated skillet on medium-high heat. Cook until browned, about 3 minutes, and carefully flip, cooking another 3 minutes.


These actually stayed shaped, and got cooked all the way through. They didn't shrink up any, though, like real hamburger meat does. Still, though, they actually looked like patties! They bore a distinct resemblance to hamburgers! They even got nice crisp edges and browned in the center.

They even worked when we didn't use the patty mold, but we didn't make any big ones. I think that if it were formed into small balls and cooked really well, it could be crumbled and used as a substitute for ground beef, such as in spaghetti sauce or Sloppy Joes. I think it'd work much better than seitan (I really hate grating it to put into things, and it doesn't absorb things the same way, so recipes have to be adjusted).